I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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