do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We're too hungover to prance.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
