I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
