I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
