The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
