how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
