Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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