I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Let's get the cat blown out
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
