if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My bed smells like the plague
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
