I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
