i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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