do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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