I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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