if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
