belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize