I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
