He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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