The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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