cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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