I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
