Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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