On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
