my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I've blown a few things in my day
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
