there was a trapeze. enough said
In America we eat man semen.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
