We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
