he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
