I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
