So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Enjoy the penises
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
