areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
