he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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