No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
