That's intense
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
