Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
