I love black thongs
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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