it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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