ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
