Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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