I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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