if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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