I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
