do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
