So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
