he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
