just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
