It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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