i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
