actually, I'm a sock model
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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