Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I will pee on everything he values.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
