you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
