Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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