Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
